Jury Duty 2009

I went to the Riverside Courts to report for Juty Duty today (for the first time in about 4-5 years), and subsequently excused because they were able to select a panel before I got to the jury box.

Every time I’ve gone in, it’s always been a painful day witnessing some of the most moronic people that live in the United States. Frankly, quite a few of the people in the jury pool are as dumb, if not dumber, than the criminal defendants on trial.

After today’s debacle I’ve learned that:

1. Pretending that you do not understand English very well is still able to get you excused from a jury.
2. Even if you’re stupid, the judge will not excuse you, as much as he would like to. But don’t worry, either the prosecution or defense council will kick you off the jury pool.
3. Lots of people have very shady family members. One of the questions asked by the judge was whether you had any family members arrested and/or tried for a crime. I would say at least 35% of the people asked answered yes, and gave some pretty interesting stories.
4. Being a student taking courses will not get you excused. The judge will simply postpone you again. I was a bit surprised by this change. While most college students are free in the Summer, quite a few take a fairly full load in the Summer. Back when I was still a student, I took at least 3 classes every Summer between Freshman and Sophomore, Sophomore and Junior, and Junior and Senior years. I think my only ‘break’ from my first day of college in 1997 to my day of graduation in 2001, I only had three weeks in of no classes per year (not counting Spring and Winter break).
5. The courts hire some good looking women. It’s like an episode of Law and Order (pick your flavor).

Anyway, that was my Jury Duty adventure for this year.

Lastly, to the clown who was the original Juror #3 in Department 32 today, 06/23/2009:

You are about 10-15 IQ points away from Forrest Gump status, but without the good personality and intentions. I am glad you got excused by council because you would have killed that trial and probably would have caused a hung jury. I hope you never get summoned to jury duty again, especially in the same jury pool as me. No one should have to put up with your utter stupidity.